The Verdict

I want to write down these thoughts now, why they are still fresh in my mind. Just for my journaling.

In my more recent post I was going in for a procedure. Now it's been a month or so since I have done that procedure. What basically happened was they shot die up into my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. From what people where telling me, and from what I read, it is supposed to be very painful. So I prepared myself. I went through the awkwardness of a complete stranger looking at my "Vahena Monster" and sticking a cathether up there. It wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. Sure it's awkward and uncomfortable, but it mostly felt like papsmear. I got to see my ovaries and fallopian tubes up on this screen as they shot die in it. Which was kinda cool. After the tech explained to me that everything was so clear, they didn't even have to shoot that much die, it just went straight out and through. So I was clear. No blockages, on my end. Come to find out, that's why this procedure was painless for me. If there is any blockage, it's said to feel worse than labor! So I lucked out!

At this point I was mixed feelings. First, YES! Their clear. No problems there. But now what? Is it Jake? Is it still a chance to be me? What happens? Everyone said don't worry, if its Jake it's easier to fix. At this point I didn't want to have to take any medicine or surgeries to get me pregnant. I just wanted it to happen. Jake had a semen test scheduled for 3 weeks after this procedure.

Fast forward, to last Wednesday. My period is supposed to happen every 28 days, the last couple months it's been coming at 26 or 27 days. Different, but not irregular. So I planned on the 26th day, which was Monday of last week. Monday came and went, with ZERO signs of my period to start. Tuesday same exact thing. I started to get a little bit excited at this point. Wednesday came, I got up that morning, and still no signs. I normally start in the morning of by late afternoon. I went and ran my errands, while on my errands, I started to dry heave. I HAD to be pregnant! I went home and took a test. It was negative. But I was SURE this time was different. When I went in for my procedure the doctor also told us, that for some reason after this procedure 30% of couples get pregnant. I thought that we were one of those 30%. Jake gets home from work, I tell him what is going on, but we shouldn't get our hopes up! I could see that gleam in his eye. We both were DEFINITELY getting our hopes up!

Night goes on, I am really feeling like I am. We crawl into bed and start talking, by this point it is midnight. I have never gone this late into the cycle without a period. Well, I get that feeling...you know the one? Where you just feel "something" down there. I just prayed and prayed all day long to not feel this way. I go into the bathroom, and sure enough, Aunt Flo, came for her monthly visit. I just start bawling. My husband asks me what's wrong obviously, so I walk out and tell him the news. He starts to get a little teary eyed. (PS I have seen Jake cry once through our entire marriage) It was just such a disappointment. Definitely one of our lowest days. Luckily Jake was going in THAT Saturday to get his test done.

After that fun night, I came to the conclusion that we both really want a baby, it doesn't matter now how they get here or how they come, it needs to happen. That being said I am open to medications to help and any other ways.

It is now Tuesday, when Jake went in for his test he was told they would have the results that night but our Dr. probably wouldn't let us know till Monday (yesterday). Monday came and went with no call on results. So I called the test place and they said they gave the results to my doctor and that was the only way I could figure them out. After calling my doctor's office to get the voice mail 4 times, I left a message. 30 mins later I get the call. It was a nurse from his office, he hadn't yet read the results so she couldn't tell me details or if this was even a for sure thing, but she said from what she could tell Jake's sperm count is low and the shape is abnormal.

Now this isn't the 100% sure answer, she told me my doctor is going to read it soon and to expect a call in 1-2 days. I'm not trying to think about it yet, since it wasn't 100% but this is what could go down:

Jake could try fertility drugs, such as clomid that could help with this problem. Pro's: It's the cheapest and easiest way to go about getting pregnant. Con's: The chance of us getting pregnant is 20-25% compared to women it's much lower.
There is also the option of HCG, which is the same as clomid, and sometimes they combine the two for a higher chance.
Next option is artificial insemination. Pro's: It's sometimes most effective with what our issue is, the treatment is not a long term option it could take in one time Con's: It's costly $1,500 to $4,000, success rate is 20%
Another one is the closest to IVF as it can be in males, it's called ICSI. Pro's: Highest success rate of 28-34%, It's done in a lab so poor fertilization isn't possible Con's: Extremely costly between $10,000-$17,000, slight risk of birth defects, major procedures done on both of us, I have to take major fertility medication.

Now, I'm not saying this could even happen. We haven't gotten for sure answers. But these are all possibilities. As of right now, were both feeling super positive. We are ready to take on some of these things. But were just happy to have some answers. Were not feeling like it won't happen. I just keep thinking of how extra prepared we will be. I suppose I will have more feelings, when we have more answers. I just wanted to get down what is going on right now in our lives. I'm glad to be doing this with such a great man! Can't wait to some day have a family with him!