The Verdict Part {2}

Oh have I got the story to TELL! So remember how I said I was waiting on the Dr to read my results so I could get a final word on what is going on in my little world. Well, here it goes:

Wednesday: I wait around again for a phone call that will never come. 

Thursday: Ditto

Friday (today): I call. I call the receptionist. No answer. The lab. No answer. The nurses station. No answer. So I once again leave a message. 10 minutes later. This dear sweet nurse named Heidi calls me back. ( I love Heidi, she was SUPER helpful) So remember in my last post I said Jake's sperm count was low, and his sperm was an abnormal shape? Yeah this time it's not. Let me repeat myself. They said now in this phone call: "Your husbands sperm is normal and you should be getting pregnant." Uhm, what??!?!? I was just told 3 days ago it wasn't and I went through all these emotions and research for you to tell me he is normal? 

Turns out the nurse on Tuesday looked at what the test said which it said that "His saturation was low" and took it as his sperm was low and abnormally shaped. WTH? I was super freaking frustrated at this point. So she could tell I was frustrated and needed some answers and would call the Dr, than call me back with results. 

She calls me and explained everything, and the Dr told her that the next step for me is Clomid. AH!! Okay, so I really hope/never thought it would come to this point. I always thought I would be able to do it on my own and be A okay! But anyways, it just freaks me out cause your chances of twins increases. But that's only a 10% chance! And my chances of getting pregnant is 40% in the first 3 months. Not sure what we are going to do. Definitely something we want to pray about and think over. But SO happy we have some sort of answer!  

The Verdict

I want to write down these thoughts now, why they are still fresh in my mind. Just for my journaling.

In my more recent post I was going in for a procedure. Now it's been a month or so since I have done that procedure. What basically happened was they shot die up into my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. From what people where telling me, and from what I read, it is supposed to be very painful. So I prepared myself. I went through the awkwardness of a complete stranger looking at my "Vahena Monster" and sticking a cathether up there. It wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. Sure it's awkward and uncomfortable, but it mostly felt like papsmear. I got to see my ovaries and fallopian tubes up on this screen as they shot die in it. Which was kinda cool. After the tech explained to me that everything was so clear, they didn't even have to shoot that much die, it just went straight out and through. So I was clear. No blockages, on my end. Come to find out, that's why this procedure was painless for me. If there is any blockage, it's said to feel worse than labor! So I lucked out!

At this point I was mixed feelings. First, YES! Their clear. No problems there. But now what? Is it Jake? Is it still a chance to be me? What happens? Everyone said don't worry, if its Jake it's easier to fix. At this point I didn't want to have to take any medicine or surgeries to get me pregnant. I just wanted it to happen. Jake had a semen test scheduled for 3 weeks after this procedure.

Fast forward, to last Wednesday. My period is supposed to happen every 28 days, the last couple months it's been coming at 26 or 27 days. Different, but not irregular. So I planned on the 26th day, which was Monday of last week. Monday came and went, with ZERO signs of my period to start. Tuesday same exact thing. I started to get a little bit excited at this point. Wednesday came, I got up that morning, and still no signs. I normally start in the morning of by late afternoon. I went and ran my errands, while on my errands, I started to dry heave. I HAD to be pregnant! I went home and took a test. It was negative. But I was SURE this time was different. When I went in for my procedure the doctor also told us, that for some reason after this procedure 30% of couples get pregnant. I thought that we were one of those 30%. Jake gets home from work, I tell him what is going on, but we shouldn't get our hopes up! I could see that gleam in his eye. We both were DEFINITELY getting our hopes up!

Night goes on, I am really feeling like I am. We crawl into bed and start talking, by this point it is midnight. I have never gone this late into the cycle without a period. Well, I get that feeling...you know the one? Where you just feel "something" down there. I just prayed and prayed all day long to not feel this way. I go into the bathroom, and sure enough, Aunt Flo, came for her monthly visit. I just start bawling. My husband asks me what's wrong obviously, so I walk out and tell him the news. He starts to get a little teary eyed. (PS I have seen Jake cry once through our entire marriage) It was just such a disappointment. Definitely one of our lowest days. Luckily Jake was going in THAT Saturday to get his test done.

After that fun night, I came to the conclusion that we both really want a baby, it doesn't matter now how they get here or how they come, it needs to happen. That being said I am open to medications to help and any other ways.

It is now Tuesday, when Jake went in for his test he was told they would have the results that night but our Dr. probably wouldn't let us know till Monday (yesterday). Monday came and went with no call on results. So I called the test place and they said they gave the results to my doctor and that was the only way I could figure them out. After calling my doctor's office to get the voice mail 4 times, I left a message. 30 mins later I get the call. It was a nurse from his office, he hadn't yet read the results so she couldn't tell me details or if this was even a for sure thing, but she said from what she could tell Jake's sperm count is low and the shape is abnormal.

Now this isn't the 100% sure answer, she told me my doctor is going to read it soon and to expect a call in 1-2 days. I'm not trying to think about it yet, since it wasn't 100% but this is what could go down:

Jake could try fertility drugs, such as clomid that could help with this problem. Pro's: It's the cheapest and easiest way to go about getting pregnant. Con's: The chance of us getting pregnant is 20-25% compared to women it's much lower.
There is also the option of HCG, which is the same as clomid, and sometimes they combine the two for a higher chance.
Next option is artificial insemination. Pro's: It's sometimes most effective with what our issue is, the treatment is not a long term option it could take in one time Con's: It's costly $1,500 to $4,000, success rate is 20%
Another one is the closest to IVF as it can be in males, it's called ICSI. Pro's: Highest success rate of 28-34%, It's done in a lab so poor fertilization isn't possible Con's: Extremely costly between $10,000-$17,000, slight risk of birth defects, major procedures done on both of us, I have to take major fertility medication.

Now, I'm not saying this could even happen. We haven't gotten for sure answers. But these are all possibilities. As of right now, were both feeling super positive. We are ready to take on some of these things. But were just happy to have some answers. Were not feeling like it won't happen. I just keep thinking of how extra prepared we will be. I suppose I will have more feelings, when we have more answers. I just wanted to get down what is going on right now in our lives. I'm glad to be doing this with such a great man! Can't wait to some day have a family with him!

I'm a {High} anxiety kinda' gal

I have anxiety. Like I am sure pretty much a lot of people do in some situations. But somedays I feel like I need serious medication for it. When it comes to school, talking on the phone, or confronting people this is when my anxiety peaks. Every semester since I have started school since I can remember has given me this awesome anxiety.

This semester wasn't any different. I registered and felt pretty good. Of course having set backs doesn't help. I try to put off thinking about school till the very last second. It's not a good thing. I realized I needed to start getting prepared for this Fall 2012 Semester a week and a half ago. I looked up my payments, and they were significantly cheaper than UVU's. So that took anxiety down one notch from 10  notches. Than I checked my SLCC email and I both of my teachers from my two classes had sent me emails with the Syllabuses a week early. So I felt double prepared. That took me from 9 notches to 7 notches. I convinced my husband to drive up there with me so I would be even MORE prepared. It took us 30 min. 6 notches. Than I went and found my classrooms ( I seriously am like a little kid going to back to school day!) and made a plan on how effectively to get from class to class. 4 notches. Than we bought me a parking pass. 3 notches. I figured out how we are going to pay for school so it won't be, such a burden on our savings account. 2 notches. 

HOLY COW! I have never been less stressed for college to start in my entire life!!! I feel slightly excited for school to start. And extremely prepared! Which for high anxiety gal, it's a life savor! The only stresses I have now are: Notch One: Class load and how it will be throughout the semester, Notch Two: How will my teachers be! And I am pretty sure I can figure those out on the first day. 

Man, am I growing up or what??

My last week of Summer {tear}

Sadly it has come to an end. Summer time. This one has been a very good one indeed! When I think about last years this one was a lot better. I'm very glad I documented my little moments of everyday...but I won't ever do it again ahaha. Now I will go back to my regurlarly posting of randomness and thoughts! So I hope you enjoyed this while I laster. Now I move onto FALL! Can't wait!

Monday, August 13:

Monday was work day. And it was back to being a PCT for the first time in a LONG time. To say I was exhausted is an understatement. But I was getting the itch to be creative and the only energy I had was to paint my nails. So paint my nails I shall! I loved the idea via Pinterest, but once I did it on my nails I didn't like it as much. Oh well, still fun!

Tuesday, August 14:

My brother-in-law came into town for the week of his 30th birthday! We almost did something every night to celebrate. On Tuesday we got the extended Frahm family together and had a BBQ with kickball at the park! It was so fun, to have everyone there once again! Unfortunately I am a little slow and forgot to take pictures. But my BIL and Dante came over for a sleepover and card games that night!

Wednesday, August 15:

Wednesday was Mike's actual birthday. We all met up at Sizzler for dinner and stuffed ourselves. We opened gifts and I made him that fun little "30 sucks gift" We played games after and had tons of fun!

Thursday, August 16:

Last day of Pool and sunshine! :( That is one thing that does make me a little bit sad, but I get over it real quick. I met up with my sisters, their kids, bunco gals, and their kids. I made sure to NOT put on sunscreen to get in my last bit of rays. It's already faded :( After I went and got a pedicure  and my hair did! I felt like Mullet woman by the time I got there. It was MUCH needed! 

Friday, August 17:

Mike and I LOVE sushi! We could eat it at least once a week. My husband likes it but not THAT much. So whenever Mike is in town I try and get him to help me convince Jake for all you can eat Sushi. Since it was Mike's birthday week, it was easy! We went to Tokyo and even Rebecca joined us! We got 11 rolls between the four of us, and my husband wanted to order more! After we met up with a bunch of family and played games. SUPER fun!

Saturday, August 18:

It was date night for me and the hubs, but we were determined to use a coupon! So we found one for Dickey's and decided to try it. HOLY MOSES! So good! I had heard it was good, but it was like epic! Bonus: They give you soft serve and pickles and a complimentary!!

Sunday, August 19:

K, let's pretend that I took this picture. I didn't I am pictured out. But I did paint my nails like this and they are DARLING. They look 90% exactly like this. Probably my new favorite, ever. and SUPER easy. 

STATS for Summer 2012:

Holidays Celebrated: 4

Bike Rides: 3

Birthday's Celebrated: 9

Spent in the Water: 9

Attending City Events: 3

Parties Thrown: 2

Desserts eaten: 20

Days Spent watching Children: 6

Trips away:1

Made Crafts: 17

Books Read: 6

Trips to the Insta Care: 1

NO WONDER IM a FATTY! Hehe

Royal Douche Bag (excuse my french)

Uhm...I'm still shaking with anger at this point. And what caused my anger happened over an hour ago.

Picture this, just got off working a 12+ hour shift, and not an easy shift mind you, I'm STARVING, and exhausted. So not a good mood!

I picked up Jake to go grab some dinner, we were stopped at the light waiting for our arrow turning left, to turn green. We are in the far left turn lane and there are two turn lanes. Light turns green we pull forward. We get onto American Fork Main Street, I look over and see this car is trying to come in my lane but if he does he will hit us. So I tap on my horn. Thinking in my head "Hello, Buddy! Sorry someone else is occupying the spot your trying to come in." No biggie you would think Right? RIGHT?? He flips me off! Uhm, Cool Bro! So I honk again. He speeds up and cuts me off, than to SLAM on his BRAKES. If you think my blood isn't boiling at this point you must be out a yo mind! He comes to a COMPLETE STOP in the middle of traffic on a road that the speed limit is 35! Turns his body around and flips me off for about 5 seconds. At this point I am screaming at him, slamming on my brakes AND horn, and saying not good girl things. I'm afraid this guy is going to endanger me and my passengers. He finally starts to drive and goes 10 mph. So I think, "I need to get away from him, before he legitimately kills us." I look over and there is a car in the next lane so I wait till he passes and pull into the lane on my right. Mr. I am out to kill you, starts to pull into the lane, with the intention of hitting us! I'm not even over exaggerating. He kept swerving his car towards our car for the next ten seconds. All the while I am scared out of my mind what this psycho is going to do to us. My husband is screaming at me, and I'm swearing and yelling and at this point slamming on my horn afraid for my life. Finally he pulls in the middle lane, we drive past honking he flips us of eight more times, while mouthing a few choice words and flips around.

Seriously I have been shaking with anger, fear, sadness, and any other emotion I could possibly have. What was his purpose for this? I have no idea? I don't even know what I did to make him so mad. I literally tapped on my horn to make him aware someone was there. I'm just mostly pissed off I didn't get his plates and call the cops! I would have busted a cap on his butt butt for sure next time!

Family Time!

This week consisted of a lot of family time.

Monday, August 6:

 Monday was "trying something new for dinner" day, it consisted of eggplant Ravioli and Alfredo sauce, which all around I loved. Than Jake started acting weird about the eggplant and than the meal started to taste funny. But for the most part it was delish! I also added to my "reading nook" There is this awkward part in my house that I never knew what to do with, when I finally saw a darling lounge chair from target and decided it would be a cute little nook! I just added a cheap 25$ bookcase from Target, and I LOVE IT! All I need is a lamp and I'm golden!

Tuesday, August 7:

Tuesday was clean your house like mad day. Than we ended it with a lovely dinner made by my sister, which paid us for babysitting these two lovelies ^^. We always have so much fun with these crazies. We watched the younger one Reese pound her dinner, her sisters dinner, and anything left over! Than we bathed them which they were being so funny in the tub! Than tucked them into bed. Makes me excited for kids someday!

Wednesday, August 8:

Jake decided we needed to have one last family party with the Frahm side of the family before his aunt and cousin went back to Hong Kong. We had snacks, games, went to the park, and talked a lot. It was a good night to see everyone and just hang with everyone! Great night! I also worked that day, which some of my cute coworkers are pictured above!

Thursday, August 9:

I hate McDonald's. I think there food quality is crap, and it is so fattening! But... I didn't want to cook Thursday, and my husband had been begging me to go to McDonald's on Thursday cause lately they have that every Thursday is .99 cent Big Mac's! So I caved. We went and purchased 5!!!!! I wanted to vomit. I only ate one, and it wasn't terrible but than I looked at the calories and nearly threw up. Oh well, you win some and you lose some!

Friday, August 10:

Friday is always date night! I love date night and ALWAYS look forward to it. We always go to a sit down restaurant and just talk and enjoy life while we can. We went to Rubio's which was heavenly! Than decided to also go out and see Snow White and the Huntsman. It was so fun! The movie was pretty good, really dark and I hate Kristen Stewart. But other than that pretty good! I give this date night an A+.

Saturday, August 11:

I woke up to breakfast in bed, by the best guy I know, My HUSBAND! I was so out of it! But I know I look freakish, but I had to document this moment, cause it doesn't normally happen! I was so excited to see this plate of food and OJ! Later that evening we had my mom's family reunion which was good. We saw lots of cousins and aunts we hadn't seen in years! Than for fun, me and my siblings besides my sister Kylie went and saw "What to Expect When Your Expecting" it was so funny! Tons of fun too!

Sunday, August 12:

So this is random, but I didn't have much to post about today! But I live in Lehi, and all they have is hard water. So its really damaging, to cars, skin, and especially my toilet bowls! I have had a battle with the Toilet Bowl Ring for MONTHS! Especially this toilet that doesn't get used. But someone recommended to me what is called a "Pumie Stick". I ordered it off Amazon for like $11 bucks. Which I was like seriously for a stupid tiny stick. WELL it came in the mail and it was HUGE!! So I put it to the test on my half bath toilet and it worked!! Like seriously, that is the sickest toilet bowl ring EVER and it worked like a charm in seconds! I am in love!! It was WELL worth my $11 bucks!

Pinteresting week

This week was all about crafts and decorating, with a few other things in between.

Monday, July 30: 

My cute sister Kylie, celebrated her 24th birthday on the 27th. Unfortunately we all had a ton going on that day so we went out to dinner on Monday. She got TONS of adorable clothes and shoes. I hope she ended up having a great birthday! She deserves it. That day I got the "craft bug" it had been awhile and there were things I REALLY wanted to craft for awhile. Here's the thing, I have mentioned this before, once I do one project I do eight! Let's start with the chalk board, I got the idea from a girl who charted her whole pregnancy on a chalk board and it was DARLING! I just needed a cute frame and I could make my own!! So hopefully in the future you will be seeing that baby real soon! Second: The bangles. Super easy and cute. Just take six gold bangles and weave in and out with navy blue ribbon. I loved it! Also inspired via Pinterest. Third: These are spray painted mason and wine bottles. You hot glue a word to it I did "love" and "laugh" than just spray paint. Mine turned out JUST nothing like it. The letters were ugly and the paint dripped and I didn't know how to fix it. But... I didn't want to waste it, so I tied ribbon to it and added that ball of flowers, and it made my alcove somewhat cute! Inspiration Pinterest. My wreaths were all MY idea (for once) I found all the fake plants and wreath at hobby lobby bought 3-4 of each thing and just tried it out. I made a big wreath for my door and a little one to put on that hanger pictured on my table! SO happy with them both! Should be great for Fall!

Tuesday, July 31:

No One Mourns the Wicked! On this beautiful day two years ago I met an amazing man named, Jacob Thomas Frahm. We were married 6 months later!! You can read all about the story right in this very place. Anyways, my sweet man told me he bought tickets on our "meeting each other" anniversary for WICKED! Normally we just go to Cold Stone and get ice cream like we did when we first met, but this year we made a little exception. We grabbed Costa Vida (my favorite) and headed on up there. Now each picture has a story to tell. First, is the one in the car, I specifically asked Jake if he knew how to get there. He replied yes and if we had any problems we could call someone (I HATE that! If you know how to than why would we need to call???) We get all the way up to SLC and up to the State Capitol for the play at the "Capitol Theater"...uhm PS that's NOT were its at. We than found the address drove around and literally had to run in the Theater as they were closing the doors!! Second picture, we listened to the Soundtrack of wicked all the way up! Third picture, Me: "Jake act excited for Wicked" He pulls that face, I snap the picture. Me: "Wow babe that's really precious." Fourth: This is how people do excited at WICKED! Fifth Picture: Got yelled at right after taking this cause ZERO pictures are allowed in the Theater oops! Sixth Picture: Finally got a face of him excited! Seventh: Stood in LINE just to have a picture taken next to the Wicked sign. Psh. Eighth: Wanted a pic in front of Capitol Theater to show off my outfit.

Wednesday, August 1:

We took this day to actually go get our Anny Ice Cream!! YAY! We love Cold Stone!

Thursday, August 2:

On this day I went to Bunco!! I always get excited for Bunco, it's something I look forward to EVERY month! This Bunco was very fun, we had it at Kim's and I won HIGH! I won the cutest shirts and jewelry and it was flattering and fit my personality to a T! My friend in my ward Jessica came and subbed, and got thrown in to the lion's den with this group! But she was a trooper!

Friday, August 3:

One of my best girl friends Kelly, finally turned 20. I didn't get to see her on her actual birthday, so me and our other friend Naomi took her up to City Creek, for Lunch and Shopping! It was my first time up there and I must say i'm a fan and I only went into 3 stores! So much to do and so little time! We went to wonderful Cheescake Factory and than ended up at Nordstrom Rack! Perfect day!

Saturday, August 4:

Saturday I went back to work, bummer but it wasn't an awful day! When I got home we out for Thai Food! We had been planning this for about two weeks, so we were stoked when it finally came around! We went to our favorite, Thai House in Lehi! SO GOOD! There won-tons are heavenly! We ended the night with Racko, and Skip Bo. Were just THAT cool

Sunday, August 5:

Sunday, we didn't do much of anything. I worked and that was all, so I figured I would show you the ch-ch-changes that have been happening in our abode. First I put our two large engagements up in custom frames in the hallway right before our bedroom. It's a perfect addition to what used to be bare hallway. Second after a year and a half of living here, I hung up the curtains in our bedroom and added the curtain holders. It warms the room right up! I also hung one of my favorite bridals right outside our office! For Christmas my mom gave me a print of the temple we were married in. It's large and beautiful, I hung it in our stairwell but it was so bare by itself. Than my mom gave me the sign to hang below it. I finally added the "F" and the two family photos to the side! Does it look good? Someday's I can't decide. Opinions please. Next we go to one of our "new" rooms. When my sister was selling her office desk, I knew this was the perfect opportunity to create an office, in one of the spare bedrooms we have. Let's just say I LOVE IT! WE painted it a light green with brown accents. I created all the decor you see in the room. I put together that bench too! So you could say I'm pretty much AWESOME! 

The end