I always wanted to be older than I was. Until, now. Like when I was in Elementary I couldn't wait for Jr. High. Well then Jr. High was hell on earth so I definitely couldn't wait for High School. Although, I did enjoy High School much more than Jr. High I still couldn't wait to get out, go to college, get married, and start a family. Then I got married. It was a dream. I was living a great life, but at that point it hit me that all this time I wanted to be an adult but being an adult was HARD. I was responsible for the bills, and dinner and for relationships. I looked at majority of my best friends from high school who were traveling and moving from place to place for FUN. They could blow away money like it was nothing.
But then, then reality set in much harder. We had a kid. A kid who needed a lot and required a lot. People always say kids change everything. And I knew that. I did. But when they meant everything, they meant, EVERYTHING. From how I get ready each day, to my relationship with my husband. Now I am not complaining cause I would do it the exact same way all over again. But when I signed up for this, I didn't know that my relationship with Jake was going to get hard, and we would have less patience. I didn't know that we would have a fight on how to do snaps on a onesie, while the kid is screaming. Ya...
I also didn't know that we would be in the biggest financial struggle of our life. This past week we learned that our savings is withering away. Although this is something that I am pretty private about, I feel the need to talk about it on my blog. But I dropped down to working two days, a MONTH and still going to school, and still living the lifestyle we had before. But once again reality has been setting in, Shit. We can't go out to dates every weekend anymore. We can't just buy whatever fiddles our fancy. We can't have the ultimate spending spree, Jenessa has to get on a budget, SAY WHAT?!?! Yep, and keep in mind my budget lasted me a whopping two and a half weeks. SCORE!
So my point is, this is hard! Really hard. And finacially I have no idea how were going to do it all. And I am terrified. But I am so happy. Weird right? Stressed to the freaking max, but happy. Cause I am at the point where I don't want to grow up anymore, I want to stay right in the place where were at. Maybe, a few extra dollars couldn't hurt but hey? Couldn't it always?
NOW tell me stay at home moms, how the eff do you stay home with your kids only on one income? I'm freaking out here! Help a girl out!