Monday, August 19, 2013

Growing Up

I always wanted to be older than I was. Until, now. Like when I was in Elementary I couldn't wait for Jr. High. Well then Jr. High was hell on earth so I definitely couldn't wait for High School. Although, I did enjoy High School much more than Jr. High I still couldn't wait to get out, go to college, get married, and start a family. Then I got married. It was a dream. I was living a great life, but at that point it hit me that all this time I wanted to be an adult but being an adult was HARD. I was responsible for the bills, and dinner and for relationships. I looked at majority of my best friends from high school who were traveling and moving from place to place for FUN. They could blow away money like it was nothing.

But then, then reality set in much harder. We had a kid. A kid who needed a lot and required a lot. People always say kids change everything. And I knew that. I did. But when they meant everything, they meant, EVERYTHING. From how I get ready each day, to my relationship with my husband. Now I am not complaining cause I would do it the exact same way all over again. But when I signed up for this, I didn't know that my relationship with Jake was going to get hard, and we would have less patience. I didn't know that we would have a fight on how to do snaps on a onesie, while the kid is screaming. Ya...

I also didn't know that we would be in the biggest financial struggle of our life. This past week we learned that our savings is withering away. Although this is something that I am pretty private about, I feel the need to talk about it on my blog. But I dropped down to working two days, a MONTH and still going to school, and still living the lifestyle we had before. But once again reality has been setting in, Shit. We can't go out to dates every weekend anymore. We can't just buy whatever fiddles our fancy. We can't have the ultimate spending spree, Jenessa has to get on a budget, SAY WHAT?!?! Yep, and keep in mind my budget lasted me a whopping two and a half weeks. SCORE!

So my point is, this is hard! Really hard. And finacially I have no idea how were going to do it all. And I am terrified. But I am so happy. Weird right? Stressed to the freaking max, but happy. Cause I am at the point where I don't want to grow up anymore, I want to stay right in the place where were at. Maybe, a  few extra dollars couldn't hurt but hey? Couldn't it always?

NOW tell me stay at home moms, how the eff do you stay home with your kids only on one income? I'm freaking out here! Help a girl out!


  1. I work a little bit, but to be honest since going per diem it's really only been once or twice a month. I think the biggest thing really is budgeting. We use YNAB (it's a budgeting program that encourages saving and living off the money you made the month before...and there are a ton of helpful how-to videos if you get stuck). We save all our receipts and budget once a week and it's really helped us see where our money goes and where we need to cut back (we also give ourselves an allowance that we are completely in control of). It was a little time consuming at first, but now it takes about 10-15 minutes and because we both stick to it, we don't have arguments about money. Good luck, Jenessa! You're amazing and that little guy is lucky to have you!

  2. Yeah if you can stick to a budget, as awful as that word is, its really gonna help. Mac and I are the poorest we've ever been, and It IS hard. But you find things to do with Jake that doesn't have to consist of GOING OUT. You really can keep it cheap and still have it be a date. Cook together, play games, take a blanket out in the back yard and look at the stars and eat dessert or whatever, It can be anything.
    I used to feel that way, like Ugh! We cant do anything fun anymore, we cant be ourselves with a kid. I mean I have friends who literally don't want to have kids because "their having too much fun" .....but "stuff" isn't important. And I feel really bad for them. Were here to do the best we can and I can tell your a really good mom. My advice would be to make sure you and your husbands relationship remains #1, and work through it the best you can. It will pass.

  3. We do lots of at-home dates - saves $10 an hour for a sitter and the $30+ for meals. We also don't eat out much. :( The kids think chick-fil-a is really fancy. I also rarely shop for myself, only great needs like sports bras and running shoes.

    I also now grocery shop (especially places like Target and Walmart) with CASH - and I only take enough in for what is on the list.

    We also don't do gifts for cousins anymore - and gifts for grandparents tend to be family pictures or something small. No one complains; they all understand that might gets tighter. Friends get a card and maybe a $4 bunch of flowers from Aldi or a homemade treat I know they like.

    Shopping for 'extras' and eating out are the two things that kill the budget here if we aren't super careful. A splurge of Chinese the other night took the entire month's money.

    One more thing a friend clued me in for - I do some cash envelopes: groceries, Christmas, fun, gifts, and trip money. Each month cash goes in. This year, Christmas will all be done with cash (or with Amazon prime and cash moved into grocery money).

    We also got rid of tv and do Netflix, saved $73 a month - over $800 by the end of the year. We've found some great older (much cleaner!!!) shows that we enjoy together. We can even hook up the laptop to the big tv for BYU games and conference! Otherwise, it was just taking up time and money.

    Hope something helps. It's great you are realizing this now, before the savings is gone and the credit card is up! Love how open you are and how much I learn from you!!!!