Monday, November 18, 2013

Our Forever Family

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind. A fabulous, overwhelming, emotional whirlwind. We officially and legally adopted Ashton on the 7th and then this last Saturday the 16th we were sealed in the temple as a family.

On the 7th we were scheduled to go to Court at 4:15 my stomach had butterflies the entire day and I kept having bouts of crying. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. We drove down to the court house with our little family. When we got there our family kept coming in. I thought it was going to be just my parents, my in laws, and Mark and Les. But my sweet sister Amy, surprised me by coming there with two of her kids. I of course, started crying. I was so happy! We entered the court room and waited for the judge. For some reason I had no idea that this would be like legit court. We even all had to stand when the judge entered. The judge was incredible! His name was David Mortensen. He was funny and lighthearted. He kept joking with us! They asked us some questions that they had to under law such as "Will we take full responsibility till Ashton is 18?" "Did we complete our 6 month placement?" Things like that. The last question they asked was our feelings towards the adoption? I had no idea they were going to ask that, so of course I start crying through my whole deal. But it was all fabulous. And after that, the judge said " I will allow you to legally adopt Ashton" it was really cool! It made all the hard ship and ordeals worth it! We were done! It was a great day

I had dreamed about being sealed to Ashton since we first found out we were prospective parents. So it was such an anticipated event for us that the morning of, I woke up and I literally felt like it was Christmas. I had been to a family sealing before and it was awesome, so I could only imagine what ours would be like. The fact that I would finally get to be with my little boy who was always meant to be ours was incredible. I sobbed through the whole day. I felt the spirit so strong. It was such a sweet day for us all. Although I cant share much, I can share that I know that little boy is ours and was always meant to be ours and being sealed in the temple to him only solidfied those feelings. Our Heavenly Father had a plan and we finally made that plan a reality!

 Last I wanna post the letter I wrote to Ashton when I made our appt to be sealed.

Dear Ashton,

I haven't written you a letter since a little before you were adopted. I figured it was time again. I was upstairs this morning texting a friend about how we are going to get sealed very soon to you. I looked down at your little face and got teary eyed. I always do when I think of going through the temple with you and your dad. I always get emotional when I think of the fact that I get to keep you, not just for a little while, not for this life, but for eternity.
I am sure you know, but in case you don't I want you to know I fought so hard for you. You were everything I hoped and dreamed about. But now that your here in our lives it's so much more than I could ever have imagined. I never knew that I could love a little boy so much. Even on the hardest days when I feel like a crappy mom and I think I don't deserve you I know this is what I am supposed to be doing. I know being a mom is my calling in life. It's such an incredible feeling.
Ash when I think of how you came into our lives and how it all worked out and how much of a miracle you are, it just overwhelms me. I know our Heavenly Father worked this out perfectly. 3 months into us adopting you, I was sitting there looking at you and I was over come with the spirit. And it just hit me that you were MINE! I knew before you were but it was just like for real deal! You were my little buddy in heaven and I am sure I sat there and said "Okay Ash, your going to come to our little family eventually, but you have to take a detour and come down a different way, but I will be anxiously awaiting you!" I know that sounds cheesy and lame. But I know its true! I know your my little guy. And sometimes I even get crazy thoughts, when people say "he looks just like you and Jake" I feel like thats cause your bits of me and your dad!

Anyways, I just am so happy your ours and that you will be ours for eternity. You have made our whole entire life! We love you to pieces! Love you Ashton Mark Frahm!

Love, Mamma

Monday, November 11, 2013

East Bay Fertility Center

My last infertility post was a sad one. Finding out we officially had to go through IVF without any other answers sucked. But lucky for me I have and continue to write about my infertility experiences cause guess what? Because I wrote that last post a friend that read it, commented and told me of another option. An option that was doable for Jake and I. An option that gave us lots and lots of hope.

That option was East Bay Fertility Center. Although I loved Reproductive Care Center, we needed to find a place that was affordable. I had priced around and they all started IVF at $10,000. Well after my friend Ashley suggested East Bay Fertility I started to look them up and ask around at people who have dealt with them and they all seemed like a great idea.

So we finally set up an appt. and we met with Dr. Glen Andrews and I was so happy we did. He not only told us that he was going to figure out if there was a hormone deficiency with Jake's sperm making it low but he also wanted to double check every thing with mine. Come to find out that my cervix is extremely small! (TMI?) So even if Jake had super sperm they wouldn't be able to get pass my little lady! So together were a funky bunch!

A couple days later we found out that Jake's is low in his FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and his testosterone. So guess what the Dr. prescribed? Chlomid and HCG! I found that quite hilarious. Cause I literally was on the exact same thing a year ago! But with his HCG we have to give him a shot in the butt twice a week. (I will be straight up I kind of enjoy giving him a shot! I don't know if thats the nurse in me or if thats because when we do IVF I will be the one going through that)

So after a couple months of Jake doing that we will retest his hormones and see if they are better then we will continue that for a couple more months. If not then we will do IVF. We will do IVF either way but this may make his sperm more potent.

Also, the last good news. I was quoted that the most I would spend there on IVF including meds is $8,000! I am so stoked! Plus there place includes ICSI (Intra-cytoplamismic sperm injection) in all there IVF packages free of charge. ICSI ups your chances of getting pregnant. What it does is it is kind of like a vaccuum that holds the egg in place while they take a needle and inject the sperm directly. Rather than putting an egg and sperm in a dish and letting them fight for it.

So we are extremely happy and hopeful! I am hoping to be pregnant by this time next year or with a baby! We shall see!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

This is Halloween!

I knew holidays with kids were going to be fun! But I have come to realize they are AMAZING! I have loved it so far, and its so fun to dress them up and to do the things I enjoyed as a little kid years later with Ashton is awesome!

Anywho. This year we did your normal Halloween Traditions. First Carved Pumpkins. Uhm.. Ash hated it. But we did put his hand AND foot in paint and he was not having it. Plus he was tired. But I still thought it was cute. Jake and I had a pumpkin carving theme.. I guess you could say? I did Jack Skellington. Jake did Oogie Boogie Man. Jake also cried like a baby about carving pumpkins. jk...kinda

I also made pumpkin seeds which ended up being amaze balls! This year Ashton was the cutest little monkey you ever did see. I know I am biased but really this face? How could you not agree?

So the day of Halloween was a little crazy. The entire morning and some of the afternoon we I baked. Ashton was my helper. After some much needed R&R for Ashton we headed to my in laws and got to see the cousins which is also a tradition. 

After we went to my parents for the Annual Halloween Party. We had all the grand kids and tried to take a million pics. Then after we ate and ate and ate. Not healthy or good for you body things. But eh? Its Halloween. After we took Ash trick or treating for the FIRST time! It was so stinking cute! 

We only went for like an hour. Cause he was done, but it was great enough! He was darling. We got back to my parents and Papa Mark and Grammie Les were there! It was perfect. Ash got all sugared up and was up WAY past his bed time! But it was a perfect day! Love Holidays