Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Incompetent Housewife

That's how I am feeling as of late. Completely and utterly incompetent. Since I got Ash, things have changed in every which way. But obviously for the better. I caught on to the mom thing pretty easy and I love it. That's not the problem here. Oh no. The problem is everything else in my life that I was okay at before now I just suck ass.

For example. Cleaning. Okay, let me take you back to growing up. My mom is a very clean person. She had us cleaning every Saturday and she kept the house pretty tidy. Even when she worked full time. She would come home after working all day and start vacuuming. You would think that because she was SO good at it, that I would be good or even decent. Uhm, no. Quite the opposite. Our Bedroom, is rarely clean. If and when it is, it lasts, about 2 days. I hate cleaning. I hate it. And over time I have grown to accept it as my duty. Especially since I am home a lot more than Jake. (Not that he is innocent here) So now lets back up to the first two years of mine and Jake's marriage. I was decent at it. Never great. But usually our main was kept decently clean. I made sure to for sure deep clean at least once a month. But now, now if I clean something, Ashton destroys it. So I just stopped cleaning. Now my house is ALWAYS a pigsty. I care, but not enough to clean it every twelve hours.

Now cooking. Uhm, yeah I hate cooking more than anything. I think I hate it more than cleaning. So thats the image you have of it before. I did it, but only sometimes. Now, we eat the same meals over and over. Or we just go out to eat. This is something that I sincerely get upset about. I wish I was better. I wish I tried new things, or enjoyed it a little. But no matter what, I hate it. HATE it!

Laundry. Eff laundry. hahah who needs clean clothes? Before Laundry was done and we didn't suffer too much. Sometimes all my baskets were full. But now. Now my entire laundry room is full with clothes and my entire hallway by my laundry room is full with clothes. There is no end to the madness, and we're screwed.

Basically I'm writing this to see, if I am the only mother out there, where her home making skills are shit? Cause I hate feeling this way. I want to be the best mom, and wife I can and I feel like I am less than sub par. I can't find a solution or answer, so I wallow in self pity!

On the bright side. I told Jake I feel like I am always playing and doing things with/for Ashton, so I feel like I am being a great mom to him, so everything else suffers. But at least that's what's important, right? RIGHT?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"Oh say can you see.."

4th of July, Halloween, and Christmas are my favorite holidays. Not in that order...obviously. So of course we had to deck our house out in Red, White, and Blue! So I was looking at my decor from previous years and I realized I had hardly any decor for Independence day. So naturally I went on pinterest, found what i wanted to do, and did it!

The actual day of the fourth we had some good plans in mind. We had two family BBQ's that day! First we woke up and I made pancakes complete with red white and blue colors. 

After Ashton took a nap, while we got our food ready for the parties. We also got in our festive attire. We woke up and took some cute pics on the front porch of the cutest boy in town. And then headed off to the first party, with the Frahm side.

We went to Jake's Aunt Linda's for the shin dig. We had burgers, fruit, chip and dip, corn, the whole shebang! We also got some cute family pictures!

After being there for awhile we went back home to put Ashton down. He slept forever and we prepared our next meal. Then headed off to Jamie and Luke's for the Schroeppel party

Then poor little Ashty got a fever and wasn't feeling so hot. After lots of snuggles and medicine he was back to normal and ready to watch his first set of fireworks!

He loved the fireworks and kept pointing at them and trying to grab the sparklers. I loved this 4th it was so fun to have my little guy with us and experience it with him!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

How to: Be sensitive to the Infertile

I got inspired to write this post when I read a random blog about a girl who was "giving tips" on how to conceive a baby. (I find weird things on the internet k?) And at first I was a little frustrated with her tips and how she made it all seem so EASY! And for a lot of people it is! For a lot of people it isn't! Anyways, I read the comments and a ton of people were bashing on her for being so naive and for her points. I could understand why people were attacking her, but I could also understand why she wrote the post. I remember first trying to conceive and thinking "maybe I'm doing it wrong, if its not happening?"

I  feel like it is easier to be bitter about having infertility than to accept it. It's easy to have a pity party and cry about your trials. But after crying about it so much and feeling like a literal Debbie downer I had to tell myself to not let it control me. (I'm rambling) My point is; there are a lot of people who have infertility and just to save face on those people I am writing this post about what NOT to say to those with infertility, and to give you a little taste about how we feel during the whole process.

You can take it with a grain of salt, or you can toss all that I am saying out the window! I don't care! Each point is Ecard inspired cause I love those little buggars!

"You know, you have to have sex in order to get pregnant right?"
My response to this is... NO shit sherlock! I think when people feel awkward they make jokes and I get this one a lot! I am used to it now, so it doesn't really bug me. But it's just one of those things you get sick of hearing. From the infertility stand point its like, "Uhm yes I knew I had to have sex to get pregnant. I have tried having sex every way possible. Sex everyday, sex every other day, sex two days before I ovulate. Sex in the missionary position. Sex in doggy style." So trust me when I saw, yes I did know that.

"It will happen when you least expect it"
I still get this one. Even after I adopted Ashton. and it's true that's what everyone says. They got pregnant when they least expected it. But for some that's not the case. It didn't ever happen. Or some had to pay 9,000-25,000 dollars to "expect". And I do take into factor that it is gods timing. But still it bugs. End of story. 

"At least you get to have sex, and have fun!"
Okay I see where your coming from. Sex is a lot of fun, and pleasurable. And at the very beginning of trying to conceive it was fun, thinking "oh this could be baby making time". But then you start to track your ovulating and you HAVE to have sex on those days. Then you get stressed if you don't do it at a certain time, and then you start to have it A TON, and it becomes way more a duty/chore than actual sex. Then when you start testing for infertility and for procedures you are told what day, and what time. Did any of that sound fun to you? No.

"You only talk about your infertility problems"
Now with this one, it didn't happen to me too much but I tried not to let it consume me, like I said earlier. But from my stand point when people post pictures every day of their baby it does remind you of your struggle. So when I say it literally consumes your life and its easier to be bitter about it, I'm not lying. I guess for this one just be sensitive and try not to get annoyed.

"You need to stop thinking about it and relax"
This one, oh I could kill. Kill with a sharp knife. I even tried this theory, a couple times. I understand why people say it. Because your stressed about not getting pregnant. Stress causes infertility. Infertility is whats making you not conceive. But oh my laws. It's so annoying. And all because "so and so stopped thinking about it and stopped trying to get pregnant, or adopted and got pregnant." All because they "relaxed". How about you relax when your going through a hard trial and let me know how it goes. Enough said.

"This unwanted pregnancy is making me really sick, and tired, and hormonal"
Now I have never been pregnant so I can't judge what a pregnancy feels like. But I do know, I would give anything to have morning sickness, back pain, restless nights, hormone imbalances, braxton hicks, breast tenderness, food aversions, peeing a lot, being hot. The list could go on and on. But my point is, we would give anything to A) know what its like to be pregnant and carry a human being inside you B) have a child. 

"You want kids? You can have mine!"
Hahaha that one makes me laugh. I understand now that I have my own and some days with your child can be the most trying ones of your life, but still. We don't want your children. Thanks but no thanks

and last but not least:
"You will get pregnant, cause it happened to so and so"
Besides "just relax" this one bugged the shit out of me. I would hear "When Judy did chlomid she only had to do one round and got pregnant, so maybe you will." "When they increased Marcy's dose she got pregnant" "Laresha was diagnosed with PCOS and now has 18 kids!" "Boris only had one testicle and they got twins!" You get my drift. Someone ALWAYS knows someone who did something and got a baby out of it. Well neat. But I kinda don't give a flying rats behind about Judy, Marcy, Laresha, or even Boris. Cause my eggo is still not prego.

Honestly, all we really want is love and support. You don't even have to say anything, just be a shoulder to cry on. Or bring me a big ass box of chocolate after I start my period. Any one can appreciate that! 

One last e-card just because it made me chuckle, and Chlomid made me bat-shit-crazy!

Thanks ya'll for the read!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Ashton's First Birthday

This was the day I had literally anticipated since Jake and I started trying to get pregnant. My child's first birthday. I had so many ideas and plans. So when we first found out that we were possibly going to adopt Ashton, I always said to Leslee "All I care is that I get him by his first birthday!" So the day we got him I knew exactly what I wanted the theme to be! A circus themed birthday. It was fun, colorful, easy to work with, and side bonus hobby lobby had adorable decor for the theme! 

Let's start with the beginning of the day!
We woke up and put his party hat on and made him waffles (he LOVES waffles)

We had to go to church since it was sunday, we had the cutest bow tie that fit with the theme AND church!

Now PARTY TIME!! Let's start with decor:

Now onto pics from the party:

It was really stressful and tiring. But it turned out perfect and I loved it all!