Thursday, May 30, 2013

A day with {Ashton}

Here is how my little life goes now that I have an Ashton. It's definitely different. But not bad at all. I am very lucky to adopt such a easy going kid for the most part. And he actually enjoys being with Jake and I! Any who... lets begin.

The day starts out anywhere from 7:30 to 8:30.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
8:00-8:15 AM:
Get up. Give mom big grins from our crib and drink a bottle. Either back in moms bed or downstairs.

8:15-9:45 AM:
We eat breakfast at this point and get dressed for the day. Than we play till its nap time or clean. Today, Ashton was extremely tired from the day before so we got dressed and played and went to nap early.

9:45-9:55 AM:
Snuggle time! My favorite.

Nap time ranges from 1-3 hrs. I am very extremely lucky. During nap time I have mommy time. i.e. Go back to sleep, get ready, clean, watch tv etc. 
9:45-11:15 AM:
I got ready and watched Grey's Anatomy. I used to feel guilty because I thought I need to be more productive but I deserve my own time and to do what I want with it.
11:15-11:30 AM:
Ash woke up, we went in my room and played for a bit. We were going to run errands but it was raining and to haul a baby back and forth in the rain is a thumbs DOWN! So we stayed home instead. 

11:30-12:15 PM:
Lunch time!! Lunch usually consists of what mom is eating and crackers. Or anything I can come up with that he can feed himself and is the mood for. UGH!

12:15-1:00 PM:
Cleaning and more playtime. Except like I said today was a day he was extremely tired. So what did we do? He cried till I would hold him while I would clean. So nothing got clean. So Ashton got to be put to sleep for another nap way sooner than planned. 

1:00-4:15 PM:
I cleaned and Ashton slept. I caught up on some things I needed to do without a baby near too. Such as crafts, organizing.

4:15-5:20 PM:
Ashton woke up a little bit happy. We waited for dad and ate snacks. Ashton got super ornery and tired with me. So when dad walked in mom was READY! Yay DAD!!
5:20-6:00 PM:
Dad always comes home and relieves mom. He takes Ashton for a walk or plays with him till dinner. Mom just relaxes or cooks dinner.
6-7:00 PM:
Dinner time! Once again we feed Ashton whatever were eating or we will cook him something small but separate. Tonight we went out to eat. 

We gave him ice cream. haha this was his face!

7-7:30 PM:
Dad plays again with Ashton or takes him on a walk. Usually were all doing something together or Im cleaning while Jake entertains. We are trying to wind down at this point for bedtime.

7:30-8 PM:
BATHTIME!! Ashton's favorite activity. He just giggles and giggles at the water. We LOVE IT! This also gets him worn out and put in his mind that he is just about ready to go to bed. It helps him fall asleep easier!

The rest of the night is left for Jake and I! We usually just relax on the couch and try to spend any quality time we can get together. Other times we do the things we need to for the next day or have been putting off the whole day. We usually go to bed around 11, and every night before we go to bed I have to sneak in Ashton's room and just peek at him sleeping. It's one of my favorite things!

Friday, May 24, 2013

To Medicate or not to Medicate that is the question?

I want to write a really random post about my medication. I keep feeling like I need to write about it. Not for any reason. But maybe just to get my feelings out there?

In March when we went to the fertility Dr. I was told that my thyroid count was low. Not low enough to be concerned but low enough that it could affect my fertility. So they put me on a low dosage of Levothyroxine. And within the first few days I noticed a difference in my life. I was less tired, and had more energy. I could concentrate on things. I had drive to do normal things in my day. I could remember what I needed to remember. And I just felt better and happier.

Than April came around and I needed to make a follow up appt. to see how my levels were on the medication. But as we know, we were surprised and got to adopt Ashton. So everything in the trying to conceive took a break and kind of was set aside. Also around the same time, my prescription ran out. So I just decided to forget about it and when we went back to the fertility Dr in a year or so we would figure it out than.

Over the next couple weeks I kept saying "Ever since I adopted Ashton, I have lost my mind." "Ever since I adopted Ashton, I'm so tired." "Ever since I adopted Ashton, etc. etc." I just felt kinda out of control. Which to be fair is understandable with all that was going on and how fast and extreme my life had changed. But the way I was feeling was so extreme that I didn't do anything all day everyday and I would sleep whenever Ashton slept and so on and so forth.

It wasn't until this past Monday that I did something about it. Jake and I always talk on the phone during his lunch break around noonish. He called and I told him how tired I was and how I was so bugged cause I could literally not get up and even do the dishes. Like it took me literally ALL day to convince myself to get ready, or clean, or even go do an errand. He had kinda hinted that maybe I need to go back on my Thyroid medication. To be honest I hadn't even thought about it. Plus I was EXTREMELY shocked that Jake had mentioned it cause he is VERY against relying on medication. He said "I really think you need to renew your prescription and today! I will even call the pharmacy and pick it up for you." For Jake to feel that strongly about me getting on a meds is a big deal. So that night he happily went to the pharmacy with me and picked it up and made sure I took it right than.

I am not sure if it can happen this fast or if its in my head, but the NEXT day, I was a new person again. I got up happy and awake. I got ready first thing, cleaned my kitchen, cleaned my dining room. Played with Ashton. Started two crafts. Finished one of them. Made dinner. The whole shebang. As much as I don't love the idea of being on a Medication for a long period of time, I love how much my thyroid medication helps me out. I am glad Jake pushed me too to get on it.

Overall in this case I think the answer is Medication. And I am so grateful we figured it out. And how much happier I am! Kids, the church is true! AMEN!

Friday, May 17, 2013

1st Mother's Day

This year marked my first Mother's day! I was so flippin excited. That day was super emotional day for me. I was just overwhelmed with my blessings and how lucky I was. But I will come back to that let's start with some pictures!

Jake was SUPER excited to give me my first Mother's day gift! He woke me up first thing in the morning to give them to me. He got me a really cute Magnet board that's a deep orange color. Than a baseball sign to go in Ashton's room. And the last thing was a sign that he wanted me to have cause it reminded him of me. "Give me patience...But please hurry!" 

This is my baby boy and me right before church. I am so happy to be his momma. He is my joy. 

After church we went to my mom's for dinner. The men obviously cooked. It was delish as always. My mom always gets us mom gifts. I was so happy that I wasn't the only sister left out this year. We also spoiled our momma with gifts.

My sister Jamie went to her mother in laws but we went in on a gift together for my mom and she LOVED it! 

Than at around 8, Grammie Les and Papa Mark came over to see Ashton and we both exchanged gifts. I was so excited to see them. This was another reason I was so emotional, I saw them and just felt so grateful because they are the reason I was celebrating this mothers day and they are the reason my life officially feels complete. Plus I made there day, cause they hadn't seen Ashton in a week so they were happy!

I don't know if it was cause of mothers day or what but this week was my official week of feeling "mom status". I felt like I am Ashton's mom and we are a family and it didn't feel random anymore. I feel like this is my calling. That sunday morning I was rocking him and I just started sobbing. This is all I have ever wanted to be and it finally happened and I am ecstatic. I love being a mom, it is the most incredible thing. I would have 8 kids if I could. (okay maybe not 8 cause I would go bat shit cray cray) But all those months of infertility and pain and sorrow and they are fulfilled and I couldn't be happier. I feel as if I am in a dream but than this past week has been reality and I am on cloud 9. There is a quote that motherhood is a calling and I believe it. I know I am destined to do this and its something I LOVE!! I just wish children and babies on everyone. Cause honestly its been the most amazing thing. Don't get me wrong we have had some bad days. But I look at that little boy and love him and everything is okay again. I can't imagine doing anything else than being a mom to Ashton and my other future children. Its incredible. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

I'm Legal, Kids!

On April 25th I did it. I officially turned 21. Originally I had wanted to do something fun and exciting to mark this big birthday of being an official adult. Even thought I don't drink and I shouldn't gamble. And I wanted to go to Vegas cause its destination for when you turn that age. But life had other plans for me. Luckily while I was on my cruise I gambled for the first time. So I was fine. But this birthday still was one to remember and I had such a good day regardless of where I was.

First of all it was my first couple days with Ashton as a mom, and I was pretty excited about that and honestly it still is hands down THE best birthday present.

So my husband is a really great guy. I just want to start off with that. Because we decided on Sunday night a couple days before my actual birthday that we were going to take our free Tucano's birthday gift and eat there on Monday night for our last meal together before Ashton. I was working that day and I had been texting him and I said "Make sure to have my surprise gift there tonight." Totally teasing. Well sure enough he shows up with flowers. That guy I tell you. I'm very lucky. Then the next day he came home from work with a diet pepsi. Some would say, So what? But to me, it makes my day! Then the next day, he bought me the cutest sparkly boat shoes. So my birthday really ended up turning into a birthday week. All cause of my sweet guy.

On my actual birthday I started the day off with my sweet little hubbie guy waking me up with breakfast in bed. Complete with Chocolate Chip waffles, Bacon, Syrup, and milk. Man does he know the way to my heart. Calories and Carbs! Swoon

Throughout the day I was shown the love from facebook, texts, and calls all from loved ones. Later that afternoon I met my mom, sisters, and some kids for lunch at Wingers. I had been craving it forever so I was so so so excited to eat there. They completely spoiled me to the core. I am so lucky!

So I knew for my 21st birthday I wanted to do something I wouldn't normally do. And I had seen a girl at my work do this and I was set on doing it for mine. So I went to Cupcake Chic in Orem and got 6 different cupcake flavors that I wanted to try. They are as follows:
Toffee Bits
Red Velvet
Cookies and Cream
Strawberry Vanilla

I also had been hearing about this Drink called "Dirty Dr. Pepper". It originated in a little hut in St. George that's called Swig and its famous for its sugar cookies and their "Dirty Dr. Pepper" all it is is Dr. Pepper with coconut in it. Well my friend Meg, had perfected the same drink at our local Sonic and since I was feeling adventerous I also tried it with my 6 cupcakes. I brought the drink and my 6 cupcakes to my brothers baseball game, cause I wasn't planning on eating every single cupcake just bites so I knew this would be the perfect place to share. Me and 6 other baseball fans sat and tried each flavor. I LOVED this idea. It was so fun and soooo good. My favorites were the strawberry vanilla and coconut. Speaking of coconut... The dirty dr. pepper. UHM, HELLO!! TO DIE FOR!! I loved it so much I am now addicted and have to make a sonic run EVERYDAY! It's a problem! or is it? But hey i do get mine diet (thumbs up?)

Ashton and I cheered CJ on while we enjoyed the rest of the game. And than CJ hit a home RUN!! For me on my birthday. (I always knew I was his favorite!) It was awesome!

I ended my amazing day with my hubby. Grammie Les watched Ashton while Jake and I did our tradition of going to Milagros for dinner. He also gave me my amazing birthday gift which was my.... KITCHEN AID!!!
She is a beaut! Pink and ALL!

Such a great birthday!! I am very lucky!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Home Study

Before we even were thinking about adopting Ashton we were playing around with the idea of adoption in general. I started looking into some agencies and each required a home study. I had only seen a home study on movies and in the movies they made it look super intimidating and scary. So after going through my home study I wanted to tell everyone what A REAL home study is like. Just cause I had no where to reference one so I figured I would explain.

First of all, they are NOT that bad. Especially the Case Worker I went through. She made it so lovely and easy to do. I would recommend her over and over again. She was so nice and answered my questions before hand.

Okay so it doesn't necessarily go in this order but this is how we did it. First you get a Criminal Background check to make sure your not a convicted felon. There is a place here in Utah that is located in like West Valley/Taylorsville area. You can get it done it like 15 mins tops. The next step is a Child Abuse background check. You send in a application with your ID and mail it to them. Super easy and can come back with results in little as a week. 

Now for the home study part. You have a case worker that comes into your home. They do a walk-through of your home and make sure its a safe, and healthy environment for a child to live in. They also have to describe what each room is like. For instance my case worker wrote down that our home had stucco and stone and that it was well landscaped. Than the next process would be interviews. There is a joint couple interview and than a separate interview. Each interview took about 1 1/2 hrs.  In the joint interview she asked some questions that had to do with our home. Such as where we keep our medication and cleaning supplies. And if those are in reach of a child how do we secure it. Than she asked questions such as if we would be willing to adopt again in the future? If we would adopt children with special needs? What led us to adoption? How we plan on disciplining our children? Thing like that so she can get a feel for us as a couple and how we will be as parents.
The next part of the interview was separate. In this she is trying to get to know you individually and your perspective of your relationship. I was asked questions about my childhood, Jake and mines relationship, and anything else that seemed necessary for the adoption. For instance I was asked how my parents disciplined  If there was an instance in my life that changed me? How I felt about Jake and my relationship and things like that. Jake was also asked the same questions. 

When doing the home study you also have to submit some papers that give details about your life. We had to submit a financial paper work that  showed how our income is and if we are stable. We both had to get physicals to make sure we are both in good health. We had to have three recommendation letters about our relationship. We had to submit birth certificates.

Overall it was a little rough. I was so stressed about it and it ended up not being THAT big of a deal as I had made it out to be. It is a little hard having someone come in your home to investigate every little detail about you, but our Case worker once again was incredible. I would use her again in a heartbeat.

Adoption has been an amazing and emotional experience. But I highly recommend it!