#lionsdontcarewhatlambsthink

Its funny how life happens. Today I was feeling like a pretty crappy mom. I had zero patience. Like below zero, and I felt so incompetent. I couldn't fathom how I was even considered a good mom or how I would even want more children if I could barely have the one I have.

Then my sister Kylie posted a picture on Instagram of her REAL life. She took pictures of her house, herself, and explained what her life looked like for real! She challenged her friends to do the same and hash tagged #lionsdontcarewhatlambsthink

I took the challenge. I am so glad I did. This was my picture and what I wrote:

This is me today. My house is a complete mess even after cleaning it 

Monday and Tuesday. I feel like a crap of a mom cause Ash is teething

and I am less then patient. So while he sleeps I will sit on my rump

 and watch tv all day. Maybe I will clean later. But probably not. I

feel less then adequate with everything in my life but that's okay cause I'm

being honest and real. Let's start a trend... A keeping it real trend. Post

a pic to IG of you "keeping it real" advocating not being fake and 

perfect all the time! #lionsdontcarewhatlambsthink

The feedback I got from it was awesome! Everyone commented saying this is exactly what their life is like. That they aren't perfect moms. There house is a mess. They also told me I was a good mom. I loved it! I even had a few friends follow the trend. Do you know how nice it was? to have people show their real selves? If everyone posted what REAL life is, I feel like we would feel a lot less inadequate and feel like "Hey, I'm not the only one out there!" 

SO... #keepitreal and #lionsdontcarewhatlambsthink

Future Frahm Babies.

Yesterday we had an appointment at the Fertility Dr. It was our first appointment since February or March of this year. When we went in last time Jake was tested and we found out that we may need to start looking at IVF. Well then a month later we surprisingly adopted Ashton. So we put our fertility and trying to conceive on hold. Well Kylie had her little baby Aniston, and we decided we did want a baby sooner. Plus, by the time we would get pregnant and have a baby Ashton will be 2 years plus. So it definitely would be possible.

We made the appt and we went in hoping the best. Anything but IVF. I was hoping medication or a different form of treatment. We went in and they explained that with Jake's semen its too low to do much, but still high enough to definitely conceive with fertility treatments. We were told our chances of conceiving on our own are .05% that was rough. I didn't know until yesterday how slim our chances were on our own. He then gave us only two options of fertility treatments. The first Artificial Insemination. It has a 1-2% chance of working. So not a lot to work with. However it is only 500-600 dollars. At first Jake was thinking he wanted to go through that, but to me it was a waste of time and money. The next and basically only option, was of course IVF. We have a 60% chance and I believe it increases every time. However, it is bloody expensive. It ranges in price from 10,000-28,000 dollars. That is not including meds which are 2,000-5,000 dollars.

I knew in the back of my head since March that this very well could be our path. But it wasn't until yesterday when I heard him officially say and tell us that it hit me. That this is our lot in life. This is the only way we will have children. It just plain and simple...sucked. Sucked ass haha.

We are definitely going to wait a little bit and figure out our finances and take it one day at a time. Right now though I can't tell you how incredibly blessed I feel. First of all, I have my husband who is my strength and is with me every step of the way. He is such a rock, when I am not. He is my literal better half. Then there is Ashton. I think of how incredible this adoption has been and how it all has worked out, and it literally is all because he is supposed to be mine and in my life. And I can't express enough gratitude for that little boy. He is my little miracle. Such an angel. Then but farthest from the least, my Heavenly Father. Who I would be nowhere without. He gave me this life and this trial. And to be honest I look at other peoples trials and I am so grateful for mine. I love my life, and I am very lucky!

Swiss Days, Malawi's, and a Splash Pad

Ashton and I were lucky enough to go to Swiss days with my "adopted family" so to speak. (the family I adopted Ashton from, whom I still keep in very close contact with minus the birth parents) I was so excited to spend time with them but also to go to Swiss days for the first time. Can you believe I, Jenessa Rochele Frahm have NEVER been to Swiss days. It was a magical little place. The only downside it was a bajillion and ten degrees. Literally everyone was dying. Dead people everywhere. Okay not really but it was so hot!

We got up to a parking lot that was shuttling people for free. So we thought okay stellar. We ended up waiting there for ONE HOUR! Not a good idea. Finally we got up there, already hot and sweating. We went straight to the booths and I was so excited to see all they had going on.

I knew I wanted to find something really cute or having to do with the upcoming holidays. I found both! Last year when shopping for Christmas Decor, I was in the Busy Biddy and saw these beautiful paintings for Christmas. But they were so much money I couldn't bring myself to spend it. Well it just so happened the same artist was there with the same paintings but cheaper! I was ecstatic! 

After awhile some of the family left cause they could not deal with the heat. But Ashton, Crystal, Leslee, Mark, and I stayed for about an hour longer. We ended up going to Malawi's for lunch.

When we got there we were all sitting there waiting for food when all the sudden poor Leslee passed out for a split second. She had gotten so hot and was dehydrated. It was so sad. Luckily right after we got a lot of water and food in here she was much better. Just gave us a good scare!

We went to Provo Beach Resort for an hour and played on a few things with the kids. Then we decided to take them to the splash pad to cool off. Last time I brought Ash a week or two before and he avoided it like the plague. I don't know what came over him this time but he thought it was the greatest thing ever!

After we left, Ashton fell asleep instantly and was out for a good hour! We both had such a fun day, and were so glad we went. I told Jake we are for sure going next year and staying much longer! Can't wait!

Park City x2

At the beginning of August Jake, Ashton, and I all went up to Park City to for a small Vaca with his family. The same one we do every year. This year was different. It was our first time taking Ash and our first trip with our new little family. So we had a lot to look forward to!

It was a perfect little drive up. It is so pretty and nice in August. Ashton fell asleep so Jake and I got to talk and sing to Celine Dion the whole way up! Perfect right?

Right when we pulled up, Ashton woke up. We checked in and then went to go load our stuff in the room. Along the way Ashton rode on the luggage carrier and thought that was pretty neat. Side story: We grabbed food at Arby's cause we were STARVING. We were all happily eating when all the sudden Ashton started sobbing. I thought he just wanted to get out of his high chair, but upon further investigation every time he looked at this man there that had a really long beard he got scared and started crying hysterically it was too funny!

We went grocery shopping for treats and other things, plus we went to the library to check out some movies.

After all that we went back to the hotel and put Ashton down. Much to my dismay, he fought me so hard on going to sleep. When normally at home he is out fast. It was a rough time each night and for every nap. :( Once he finally went down we got a chance to play some games just us adults. We started playing a game called "Upwards" we were all laughing and having a good time when half way through the game we realized we had been playing wrong the entire time! We called it a night after that hehe

Next morning we started our day with cuddling since neither Ashton or his parents slept that well. We went down to the indoor pool cause it was raining and had fun splashing around while we waited for Jake's brother to come up.

Once his brother came we went out to dinner to my favorite PC restaurant; Bandits! Its a BBQ joint that is phenominal! We celebrated Mike's birthday and stuffed ourselves. After we went on a walk and attempted to get Ashton to sleep. Then we watched a movie and went to sleep.

Next morning was rough. Ashton didn't sleep and that meant neither did we. We had to get up early to go to Sacrament. By the time we got ready and to church Ashton was already exhausted. So Jake, Ashton, and I left went back to the hotel and we all slept for 2 hours. HEAVEN! Then we ate a lovely lunch and headed back home! It was short and sweet.

NOW for my second Park City trip last weekend. About a month ago some of my good friends from work and I were talking about doing a trip together since we get together once a month for lunches anyway. We booked a hotel for PARK CITY!

We all met up at work and all got to carpool together up to the Hotel. There was Heidi who is 8 months prego, Jensenne who is 10 weeks prego with TWINS, Jenna who is also ten weeks prego with just one hehe, Summer, and me! Lots of hormones in one car!

We got up there checked in and went to dinner to Baja Cantina. Its a mexican restaurant and its so good! I got a Chimi and it was heaven! Then of course after we went for dessert to Rock Mtn Chocolate Factory. We all got the Apple Pie Caramel apple! 

After we went got more treats, headed back to the hotel in our comfies and do what all girls do in sleepovers, pillowfight talk until we cry and pee our pants of course! We laughed and laughed. Finally we all were exhausted and went to bed, surprisingly! 

We woke up got ready, grabbed a bagel at Einsteins, then headed out to shop till we drop! We all found fabulous deals on clothes, and it was definitely a success! After we headed to Bandits (again, of course) for some lunch, and sadly again to Rocky Mtn. then we headed home.

What we thought would be the last of our trip was NOT! We pulled into the hospital where all our cars were parked. We all got out of the car and in the mix of doing that someone locked the doors and we locked the keys in the car with ALL of our stuff. haha we thought it was funny but then this CRAZY CRAZY storm came in and we ended up sitting there for two hours waiting for the storm to pass, and for the lock smith to help us get our keys. It was quite the ending for our adventure.