March 10, 2014
Dear ______,
I have
thought about writing to you since we got Ashton. For many reasons. When we
received your letter it made me want to write to you even more. But as I am
sure it was hard for to know exactly what to say, I am in that same place. I
guess I want to start with the beginning. How Ash came to be in our lives, was
no chance. He was and still is our little miracle. I have known your parents
since I can remember. So they knew me well. They met my husband when we were
just dating, and have seen our marriage from the beginning. When we had been
married for six months, we thought we would start trying to start a family. It
didn’t happen right away like I thought it would, but I wasn’t too worried. A
year had passed with no sign of a pregnancy. Ashton was born that same month.
We went to many, many doctors, and found out that both my husband and I have
issues, which makes it extremely hard to become pregnant. There is a chance we
could but it’s only through IVF and that’s not even for sure. There were far
too many nights I would cry myself to sleep thinking I would never be a mom and
I would never know the joy a child could bring. It was the one thing I wanted
most in my life.
I knew Mark and Les, had
guardianship over Ashton, but I had never met him or known the situation. It
wasn’t until New Years Eve of 2012 that we met Ashton. We had come over to your
parent’s house and Ashton was still up. I remember thinking “he is the most
adorable baby”! That night we drove home and my husband and I discussed how
cool it would be to adopt a baby, let alone a baby like Ashton. At that time we
had been trying almost two years to get pregnant and we were looking into
saving money for either IVF or adoption. One night I got a text from Les,
asking if we would come and watch Ashton while they went out to dinner. I was
so excited to see him again. That night there was something in my head that
told me that Ashton was special. When your parents came home I asked them if
they had any plans to adopt Ashton, or put him up for adoption. They said they
were thinking of a lot of ideas but it was tricky. When we drove home that
night, I started crying. I had told my husband that for whatever reason I KNEW
that Ashton was supposed to be apart of our lives but I didn’t know how or why.
I was really frustrated because it seemed crazy. I never stopped thinking of
Ashton after this day. We saw Ashton almost once a week at random places with
your parents over the next couple weeks. And every time I would leave upset and
feeling so strongly that Ashton was supposed to be in our life. I thought the
closest way I could get to see Ash was to babysit. So I offered to watch him on
Tuesdays and Thursdays. On February 10, 2013 your parents invited us over. That
day forever changed our lives. They told us that they wanted us to be Ashton’s
parents through adoption. I had so many emotions. I stood there and sobbed. We
finally had some small hope of becoming parents. As you know, there were some
rough moments over the next couple months. But I continued watching Ashton,
just to be a part of his life even for that little bit.
On April 8,
we went out to dinner with Mark, Leslee, and Ashton. I thought they would be
going to court the next day, but to my surprise, they told us that we would be
adopting Ashton. The next week and a half was a whirlwind, we were working with
lawyers, and social workers, to get Ashton in our home as soon as possible. On
my birthday April 25, Ashton was officially placed in our home. The next 6
months went by so fast and we celebrated his birthday, went on trips, did many
things that were a first for him. Then on November 7, 2013 we appeared before a
judge and he granted us full custody over Ashton. We were his parents and had
never been happier. A week later we were sealed in the Provo Temple as a
family. We believe in the Church of Jesus Christ and in a Heavenly Father. And
I know without a doubt he had his hand in this entire adoption. Not only for us,
but for you too.
The day we were told we were going
to adopt Ashton, I instantly thought of you. I thought of how you were doing
and how you had decided to sign over your rights. And then I became eternally
grateful for you. I wish I could express through words how thankful I am for
you. How much joy you have given us. I KNOW, that it was possibly the hardest
thing you have ever had and will have to do. But if you knew just a smidgen of
how happy he makes us, and how happy he is you would know it was not in vain.
You have given us the gift of being parents. I’m a mom because of YOU! It’s my
greatest joy in life and I know it’s my calling. And none of it would be, if
not for you. You have given us light in our darkness. Hope in our sadness.
Ashton is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us, and I wish I could
tell you just how extremely thankful we will always be to you. I hope to
someday meet you and give you the biggest hug!
We changed Ashton’s middle name to
Mark, after your dad. He fits the name well! We still see your parents as much
as we can. If that doesn’t work out, we send pictures on the daily. We all
wanted the same for Ashton and that was to keep Mark and Leslee as
grandparents, and to still be apart of their family and lives. Oh he is so
loved! He now has 3 sets of grandparents to spoil him. Three families that love
every thing he does and love to be in his life. Two parents, that watch in
amazement everyday at how adorable, smart, and funny he is. He is oh so
spoiled! He never goes a day without. People make fun of me and say everyday of
his life is documented! He is such an amazing little boy.
He is almost two and just as smart
as ever. He loves to read books, and play with any ball he can get his hands
on. He loves to color and is always finding a pen, pencil or crayon to draw on
ANYTHING! He can say; Momma, Dadda, Bubba (our dog who he is obsessed with),
Papa, Shoe, One, Two, Ball, Please, Thank You. His favorite TV show is ‘Yo
Gabba Gabba’, every morning we go down to eat breakfast, he will grab the
remote and say “Gabba, Gabba” till I turn it on. He loves string cheese, fruit
snacks, French fries, and eggs. He loves being outdoors and recently learned to
go down the slide by himself. He has many cousins that he follows around and
plays with. He has big beautiful brown eyes, and my favorite is when he smiles
really big they go into slits! (That would be his Japanese shining through!) He
is called Ash, Asher Basher, Ash Man, Bubbies, and The Boy. He is so smart, and
is learning something new every day!
Our hope is that someday for us all
to meet together. I know that time isn’t now, but someday when we are all
ready, we would love for Ashton to meet you. I would love to keep in contact
with you through letters. I want you to hear about his life and what he is up
to. I would also love to send you pictures.
In your last letter, you said give
him a hug and kiss from you, and I want you to know, we do…everyday. We really
are so extremely grateful to you and we love you! I hope you can find peace and
love in this letter!
Sincerely,
Ashton’s
Mom
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