Monday, October 22, 2012

I'm probably getting annoying!

But this is another post about infertility. But I figured you guys have come this far! Why not just take you on the complete journey? 

So I did my first round of Chlomid and I was very hopeful and yet not. I was scheduled to start my period on Sunday, the 21st. On Wednesday, the 17th I was laying in bed with Jake and said "I don't think Chlomid worked this month, I think I am going to start my period." We talked about it and I decided we would just see. The next day, I woke up, and I don't know why but I just KNEW I was going to start my period and I started to crying. I had the symptoms at the same time I do every month. And I knew it was bound to happen. I know that a lot of pregnancy symptoms are similar to period symptoms, but I have studied the affects of my body and how it works with cycles for far too long to not know! Anyways, (I trail on so much) I text my mom and sister Kylie. And told them the same thing I told Jake. My mom text me for awhile and told me my time would come soon. Kylie however called me. I was at school so I couldn't talk. After I left school at 12:50 I talked and sobbed with her on the phone till I drove home at 1:30. (There is a point to THIS story I promise)

She started telling me how she read in the scriptures the other night in Moroni about having Faith. In my head I thought yeah yeah I have heard this before. I have faith! Well than she made the point that I need to have faith that this will happen some day for me, that I got to have faith in the savior. Cause it will happen, some day. Even if it comes to worse case scenario and we have to adopt and we adopt this baby that comes from an awful home, that's what the lord has in store for us. I just need to put all my faith in trust in him that he will do this for us, one way or the other. And to be honest I am still figuring out how to do that, but I have already seen a difference in how I feel about things. Which brings me to part #3

Saturday night my period came. As I knew it would. Now normally the past 4 months I would break down crying and would go into some form of depression. But this time, I just felt sad. Sad cause it didn't happen. But I was okay with it. Cause for the first time I realized it will happen one way or the other cause my Savior loves us and wants to give us our righteous desires. It's still hard but not unbearable. So today, was day 3 and I needed to start on my second round of Chlomid but before they can give you a second dose they have to examine your vaheena monster and make sure no animals are growing (or something like that ;)) After the invasion she prescribed me on 100 mg of Chlomid which is double than last month (which also means higher chance of doubles) and told me if this month doesn't work they will put me on a higher prescription and than also add in HCG shots, and take ultrasounds very often to see what is going on. So its gonna be fun. 

So here is the sum of it all, I love Kylie my sister also known as #7 with all my heart, for explaining to me in a way I understand what everyone has been trying to tell me.
I would be a crazy lady with twins. 

The church is true!


  1. I love it when you post. :) Thanks.

  2. AH, I love you more then I have words to say! Hope you know I am here for you when you have your twins... and that will be a whole other convo with some different kinds of scriptures! lol

  3. Lately I have found that my sister brings such clarity to my problems and helps me to see them in a way I never would have.
    Aren't we blessed to have sisters that have learned these things for themselves and can guide us down the right path?
    I think she's absolutely right. When we place our complete faith and trust in the Lord, he'll do wonders with our lives. It's giving up complete power that's the hard thing. I love you Jenessa and you're in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. My heart is sad along with you because I know what clomid is like! Although twins would be crazy hard, I've always kind of wanted to kill 2 birds with one stone. I can totally see Jake with two kids dangled around his neck and you looking super cute, as always, walking behind them and smiling.

  5. I love you all and am so grateful for your comments!! Thank you thank you thank you! You all have been a big support system for me! Thanks for reading!