That's how I am feeling as of late. Completely and utterly incompetent. Since I got Ash, things have changed in every which way. But obviously for the better. I caught on to the mom thing pretty easy and I love it. That's not the problem here. Oh no. The problem is everything else in my life that I was okay at before now I just suck ass.
For example. Cleaning. Okay, let me take you back to growing up. My mom is a very clean person. She had us cleaning every Saturday and she kept the house pretty tidy. Even when she worked full time. She would come home after working all day and start vacuuming. You would think that because she was SO good at it, that I would be good or even decent. Uhm, no. Quite the opposite. Our Bedroom, is rarely clean. If and when it is, it lasts, about 2 days. I hate cleaning. I hate it. And over time I have grown to accept it as my duty. Especially since I am home a lot more than Jake. (Not that he is innocent here) So now lets back up to the first two years of mine and Jake's marriage. I was decent at it. Never great. But usually our main was kept decently clean. I made sure to for sure deep clean at least once a month. But now, now if I clean something, Ashton destroys it. So I just stopped cleaning. Now my house is ALWAYS a pigsty. I care, but not enough to clean it every twelve hours.
Now cooking. Uhm, yeah I hate cooking more than anything. I think I hate it more than cleaning. So thats the image you have of it before. I did it, but only sometimes. Now, we eat the same meals over and over. Or we just go out to eat. This is something that I sincerely get upset about. I wish I was better. I wish I tried new things, or enjoyed it a little. But no matter what, I hate it. HATE it!
Laundry. Eff laundry. hahah who needs clean clothes? Before Laundry was done and we didn't suffer too much. Sometimes all my baskets were full. But now. Now my entire laundry room is full with clothes and my entire hallway by my laundry room is full with clothes. There is no end to the madness, and we're screwed.
Basically I'm writing this to see, if I am the only mother out there, where her home making skills are shit? Cause I hate feeling this way. I want to be the best mom, and wife I can and I feel like I am less than sub par. I can't find a solution or answer, so I wallow in self pity!
On the bright side. I told Jake I feel like I am always playing and doing things with/for Ashton, so I feel like I am being a great mom to him, so everything else suffers. But at least that's what's important, right? RIGHT?