When I decided to start opening up about our Infertility I was REALLY nervous. It's such a private thing, and I was worried a lot of people wouldn't understand. But I am SO glad I did. Because through it, I have educated family and friends and of course met so many wonderful people who are suffering through the same thing. Because I became open of my struggle I met people who have changed our journey and I hope I have changed theirs! Anywho... I just wanted to take a moment and go through the beginning to now, to just show that its mother freaking hard, but the end result is a miracle.
My very first post about Infertility go http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/08/this-is-my-confessional.html
Our journey at the beginning:
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-verdict.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-verdict-part-2.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/09/another-month.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-latest-and-greatest.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-to-be-grateful-in-hard-situation.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/10/im-probably-getting-annoying.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/11/hcg-round-2.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-two-week-wait.html
http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2012/12/a-literal-christmas-break.html
After all those posts ^^ we had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. I am so glad I journeled all this though cause it's good to look back at where you have been to see how far you come. Although if I sit and read all those posts I just start to cry cause it was an extremely depressing time, I am glad I have them. Anyways Jake and I found out we would have to go see a fertility dr at that point so we took a break, which I HIGHLY recommend if you go through fertility crap. Take breaks, its good for the soul, body, and mind.
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I wanted to share this picture cause it still means so much to me even after all this time. My sweet sisters, who are my best friends, had a bouquet of flowers sent to my home after chlomid failed again. It was so simple but I loved it so much!
You guys god works in mysterious ways...because after that on New Years Eve we met....Ashton. And you can read all about our journey with Ashton in the tab "Our Adoption Story".
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Now these pics may not look like much, but it was the night we met Ash, so they are special to me even though we didn't necessarily get one with him.
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Jake's first pic with Ashton
my first picture and the day we started to tend him
our first pic together as the three amigos
During this time I was unsure if we would get Ashton and how things would work out, so we decided to start seeing fertility Dr's. We kinda went shopping. This was our first fertility visit with the second fertility Dr http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2013/02/fertility-visit.html
Found out that Jake had a sperm inconsistencies even though the first fertility Dr said he was fine http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-to-square-1.html
It was after this appointment that we found out we would most likely HAVE to do IVF to try and conceive a baby. But we could look at a couple options.
Then a month later we found out I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, which is scary but luckily Jake was not so we we're in the clear. http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2013/03/one-day-at-time.html
Life was hard again, but once again, God has AN INCREDIBLE plan for each of us and ours was just beginning. April came around and we found out that we could adopt Ashton.
The picture we used to announce we we're adopting!
Life was incredible!! And I became a mom and it was even better then I could imagine. We once again focused on being parents to this incredible little boy and took a break from fertility stuff.
These are some pics of our time together:
Ashton turned one!
So much happened which you can go back and read on my blog over all those months what we did. But we we're so blessed. Then September rolled around and we decided to start looking into how to get Ashton a sibling. We didn't know at the time if we wanted to adopt again or continue with a Fertility Dr. So we decided to pray about it, and both of us felt like we should try to continue to get pregnant. So at this time Ashton was a little over One years old and we had been trying over 2 years. We went back to the Dr in Sept: http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2013/09/future-frahm-babies.html
It was officially confirmed at this appt our only option was IVF. No other option would be worth wasting the money or time. It sucked. I was stressed about money options, and what to do. But once again I am SO grateful I was open about our Fertility journey because after this post I had a comment that referred me to East Bay Fertility Center.
So at the end of October we met with a new fertility Dr and it was our perfect fit! http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2013/11/east-bay-fertility-center.html
Then November rolled around and it had been six months since we adopted Ashton and since we live in the state of Utah it meant we could legally adopt him!
Then a week or so later we we're sealed to him in the Provo Temple.
Still one of the happiest days of my life.
Then at the end of December we started IVF. I didn't openly blog about this at the time because I didn't want people to know if it failed or succeeded. But I did keep a personal journal of it and took pics so I will post those lovely pics here. Some of these are embarrassing but I just have to take you through what IVF looks like.
First set of drugs
All my injection scars
WAY too many Vaginal Ultrasounds
Implanting of the eggs
High as a kite
My rock through it all
One of our Embryo's
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My amazing sister who injected me every time
the size of the needles
Second round of medications
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being injected DAILY
Just one bill for medications
This round of IVF started Dec. 24. But in the middle of January we had to stop cause my ovaries weren't cooperating. So we started over AGAIN in February. As you know February came with some disappointing news http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2014/02/our-trial.html
No baby. It was one of the hardest days of my life. But it brought new things. I found out I had immune deficiency and in the future would need to do a procedure called IVIG. We decided to move. I decided to do something for me and my body, so I lost weight and ran a half marathon. Ashton got older which is now a blessing! I also realized how many people in my life loved me and supported me.
So we took a break and moved into our home. I told Jake that I was ready to begin trying again once we got settled in. August I went back to the Dr and he said the process wouldn't be nearly as extensive as last time but we would still do a lot. We started in September.
I came back to the blogging world and instead of keeping this round a secret I was open during the ENTIRE process. These posts are all about IVF/FET round two.
The day I did IVIG I sent my sister a pic and it stemmed the most amazing pictures I have recieved look at those here: http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2014/09/good-vibes-and-good-luck.html
On Oct. 2 I got the call that I was officially pregnant! 3.5 weeks later we went in for an ultrasound to find out we we're expecting Identical Twins. I never thought the day would come where we would be pregnant. http://jsquaredfrahm.blogspot.com/2014/10/double-blessings.html
Then I found out I lost one :( Extremely hard, but I still had one healthy fetus.
And NOW: Here I am almost 33 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy!
You guys, the journey has been a rough one, but such an incredible one. I know that its been worth it. My heart aches for those going through it right now but if you ever need anyone to talk to I am open and happy to chat.
This week is important to me, cause there are so many suffering that feel alone and like no one gets it. But that's what amazing is I have found so many people that have gone through the same things as me and there are so many resources! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Another reason is Infertility is not a common knowledge thing, there are so many people out there who DON'T know what it takes for a lot of women to get pregnant and I feel like its SO important.
I want to refer you to a blog that has been really neat to follow and read about Infertility take a look sometime cause the ladies who run it are AMAZING!
I love you all! Thanks for following my family and I on our Journey! MUAH loves!
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